my name is mom

Youtube- Rebekah Nieman.
Mother- 12/4/12
Wife- 08/16/13
TTC baby number 2!

Dan got us a new mattress and he goes, do you think we can still have sex on it. And I go yes because we are baby making. And he goes, oh god.
Ha. No but really I’m excited for this new mattress! It’s foam!

What I wore this month!!! :)

What I wore this month!!! :)

I went to lay down because I feel like bawling my eyes out and I said I just need to be alone. And Dan goes, if you wanted to be alone you shouldn’t have gotten married and had a kid.
I’m so drained of emotions. I just can’t anymore.

I sit here and ponder. Are you honestly going to love another child? Can I trust you to love them when they are born? Because I have this terrible feeling I’m going to be convincing you to love this child once I get pregnant. I know it’s impossible for you to love anyone besides Tori right now, I just can’t let you treat one child better then the other. Something inside me makes me want to leave you and the other part is telling me it’s normal but still. I just wish you’d be excited and not “getting me pregnant because I want it” I wish you wanted more kids too.

Sarah and Matt got pregnant on month number 2 or 3. They said they tried for 2 months, but still. I’m hopefully we get pregnant on the second or third try. I’d love the first but I got pregnant with my ex on the first try. And Tori was probably the same because we used condoms all but 4 days and bam. I was pregnant. But things have changed. So I’m praying I’m lucky this time around again.